Step Two: Advancing on those goals
Fear is a crazy thing. It grips ahold of you forcing your fight or flight into action. I did hear there was another reaction to fear, it’s playing dead. Look at the opossums and even some goats, when they are frightened they pretend their dead. Maybe some of us choose to be invisible when we face fear. My Shaman once told me that fear occurs when your brain tells you there is danger. Your reaction to that fear is your primal instinct to protect yourself. Perhaps fight, flight, or play dead is our way of protecting ourselves from things that might hurt us.
When protecting ourselves begins to interfere with everyday life or it prevents us from doing something that we otherwise would have wanted to do, it’s time take some steps to overcome this. By seeking out help rather it be self-study or outside resources, you are taking a step towards a goal. My previous post talked about making lists of things that kept you down, made you happy, and then brainstorming areas and ways to get moving on these goals. How you tackle these goals will really depend on how obtainable some things are. Whittle down your list to realistic goals and actions you are willing and able to take. I want to suggest that you first pick the easiest goal and then also choose the one that will be the most impactful to your life.
Choosing an easy goal allows you to see some progress quickly. Example, I wanted to find a local acupuncturist that I could see easier than the one I really liked, but lived an hour away. She was easy to find, I interviewed her over the phone and then met in person for a session. All within a week’s time.
By also selecting something that was most impacting my life, I figured the commitment would be more involved but turning the gears to resolve this would benefit me the most. For me it was my mental health and overall wellbeing. I sought out a counselor, it took two tries before I found one I liked. Readers, please make me a promise, if you are not comfortable with someone you went to for help, then go somewhere else. I will make a promise to you to talk about firing a counselor or other person you sought help from.
Taking this step was big for me and will be for you too. What pushed me forward was seeing and hearing from other people. It is amazing how many people open up about their struggles when I opened up about mine. Talk to people you know are safe and won’t shame you for having a hard time with something. You might be surprised how relatable some of your perceived faults are.
My final entry about my soul search will be about motivation and where I personally come to find myself. Before I go here are a few ideas of places you can find help rather it be self-study or outside sources.
Counselors (career and personal), life coaches, general practitioner, Google search help groups and help lines (this is how I found my counselor), talk to other people, acupuncture, physical therapy, local community college, online colleges, enrichment classes, library sessions or classes, group meetings organized by your city/town, churches (churches often offer non-religious support groups). Read blogs, articles, group forums (that don’t allow haters and trolls, so something that is monitored well), Facebook groups (responsibly monitored), book club, movie club, start your own club (clubs are cool man!), hiking groups (check out Hike It Baby if you are in the US and have kids).