Step 3: My Soul Searching Mission

Step Three: Commitment

Every “ah ha” moment I have yields a deeper commitment. Even when those “ah ha” moments rip at my heart or change how I see something that was once so obvious to me. It’s like suddenly the sky is not blue anymore, but instead pixelated with several shades of color that somehow give off a false appearance of blue. Everything involves careful thought and hitting the rewind button several times. Rewinding is what is allowing me to move forward. It seems I am deeply committed to asking a hell of a lot of questions.

What is relevant now? What belongs in the past and what can be left there without looking back? What is important to bring up with people and what is best just left alone? Who truly benefits from an action? Why is this still important to me 20 years later? How can I let this go? What direction am I supposed to be moving in? Who can I trust?

I have learned that not everything needs a timeline. As a chronic organizer and list maker, this was one area of my life I had to ease up on. Commit to letting self judgements go. Often I think we are the reason no progress is made. We allow ourselves scapegoats and allow fear to keep us at bay. By allowing the door to close on something, it really is amazing what other doors slowly begin to open. Give it time, Rome wasn’t built in a day! Commit to your plan to seek out help rather it be through self-exploration or professional assistance. Set a reminder on your phone for every 3 months for a self-check in to see if you are still on track or if you accidently hit the snooze button too many times. I’m making mine right now!

May 25, 2017 at 3pm: Are you still on track with your goals?

Commit to taking care of yourself. Treat your mind and body with kindness. Commit to being healthy. Fight the fear. Commit to doing one small thing, one small step, and then commit to another and another and another. Keep going. Don’t stop.

This is how I started my soul searching process. It’s a continuous process and I hope to share a few exercises I have done along the way that have brought about some interesting findings. Some conventional and some rather unconventional approaches. I’ll try just about anything once or twice. Hope you enjoy your journey and enjoy reading about mine.

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